Really Stupid Per-36 Article

[The Bean Regime]

Something stupid I’ve wanted to do since seeing Jalen William’s awesome per-36 minute stats. I wanted to highlight the guys who play very few minutes but produced enough to make their per-36 statistics make them look really talented.

So, here’s the all-league per 36 squad. I’ve restricted everyone to under 10 MPG and tried to highlight the guys who don’t play most games. The most MPG from a player is 8, and the most games played is also 8 (from the same player: Moses Brown of the Hornets, who didn't even make the cut). So, here we go!

Starting lineup:
C: Luka Kundla 20 7’0” 289 B- C D C+ C C of the Milwaukee Bucks
True stats: 2/1/0/0/0 with 0 TOs on a 100 FG% in 2 MPG.
Per 36: 36/18/0/0/0 with 0 TOPG on a 100 FG% in 36 MPG.
One of the best centers in the league, he’s crazily efficient and a true post savant. He lacks any sort of defense or passing, but boy is he pretty.

PF: Pete Lance 24 6’8” 195 C C+ C C+ B A of the Orlando Magic
True Stats: 0.7/1/0.3/0.7/0 with 0 TOs on a 100 FG% in 3.3 MPG
Per 36: 7.6/10.9/3.3/7.6/0 with 0 TOPG on a 100 FG% in 36 MPG
Pete Lance complements Kundla well with passing out of the post and the quickest hands in the league bar-none. There is a trade-off to his incredible quickness, and that is his small stature at 195 pounds. Though he is vulnerable to post ups, most players fear the consequences of trying. He doesn’t bring much in terms of scoring, but he’ll make the shots he takes.

SF: Taeshon Cherry 25 6’8” 210 B- B C+ B+ C- C of the Miami Heat
True Stats: 1.5/0.5/0.0/0.0/0.0 with 0 TOs on a 100 FG% and 100 3PT% in 1.0 MPG
Per 36: 54/18/0/0/0 with 0 TOPG on a 100 FG% and 100 3PT% in 36 MPG
Cherry is a more-focused modern Wilt. And by that, I mean he scores and he rebounds. You’re not getting anything else out of him. With that said, he spreads the floor tremendously and is averaging more points than Wilt has ever had in a single season. Refs have stopped calling fouls against him to lower the skill gap, but everything still goes in the basket.

SG: Jalen Williams 22 6’4” 210 B- B C+ B D B of the Golden State Warriors
True Stats: 5/1.3/0.7/1.0/ and 0.3 TOPG on a 58.3 FG% and 50 FT% in 7 MPG
Per 36: 25.7/6.7/3.6/5.1/0 and 1.5 TOPG on a 58.3 FG% and 50 FT% in 26 MPG
Williams provides above-average passing and rebounding for his position while being a very good scorer and elite defender. He’s not the biggest player on the court, but that hasn’t stopped him from using the post to his benefit. He struggles to hit free throws, and his 3 game is non-existent.

PG: Cat Barber 29 6’2” 190 C B+ B B C C of the Dallas Mavericks
True Stats: 0.4/0.8/0.6/0.2/0 with 0.2 TOPG on a 25 FG% in 2.6 MPG
Per 36: 5.5/11.1/8.3/2.8/0 with 2.8 TOPG on a 25 FG% in 36 MPG
It’s tough to choose Barber over McConnell, but the team needs a playmaker, not another scorer. Barber provides legendary rebounding for his position while being an above-average playmaker and smothering defender. Just don’t make the man shoot.

Backups and their per-36 stats:
C Tacko Fall of the Utah Jazz
0/21.6/0/0/7.2 with 0 TOPG on a 0 FG%
The best rim protector in the game.

PF Reggie Perry of the Boston Celtics
25.7/12.9/0/0/0 with 0 TOPG on a 80 FG%
Luka Kundla-light in a smaller, more compact package.

SF Jalen Duren of the New York Knicks
29.7/7.8/9.4/4.7/0 with 7.8 TOPG on a 53.3 FG%, 40 FT%, 25 3PT%
Thought you were going to get some rest when Cherry sits? Nope! The second best player in the league is his replacement. Though he turns it over like a mad-man and can't stretch the court, he makes up for it in other areas.

SG James Bouknight of the Toronto Raptors
27.6/2.5/5.9/0/0 with 0 TOPG on a 66.7 FG% and 66.7 3PT%
Would easily be the starting PG if SGs could play starting PG in the league. Oh well. He brings a vicious 3PT game and great playmaking.

PG T.J. McConnell of the Los Angeles Clippers
22.2/2.5/3.5/1.5/0 with 3.9 TOPG on a 42.9 FG% and 50 3PT%
Probably the worst player on the team. Though he's efficient percentage-wise, he's a tier below his peers and has an assist-turnover-ratio of less than one. He's fairly one-dimensional as a scorer.

[The Bean Regime]

hmm. forgot about this. Probably for the best, as now I actually have someone worth using the points on.

Looks like +3, but i don't know if whats-his-face commish guy wants more votes.

soooooo... bump!

[Oregon Ownage]

Post your preferences below for +3

[The Bean Regime]

Got a +5 vote! WOOOO!!!

Sekou Sada Kalle
+3 Blocking
+3 inside
+3 strength
+3 Jumpshot

Order of preference from top to bottom.

[Oregon Ownage]

Got a +5 vote! WOOOO!!!

Sekou Sada Kalle
+3 Blocking
+3 inside
+3 strength
+3 Jumpshot

Order of preference from top to bottom.

Done