Lyerla in trouble again

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justducky0
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Re: Lyerla in trouble again

Post by justducky0 »

Its not his fault .. until he got to Oregon and had all the help in the world, after that anything is on him. Making excuses for someone helps nobody.
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duckfan96
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Re: Lyerla in trouble again

Post by duckfan96 »

My brother did time for drugs and robbery. Was addicted to cocaine. He used to try and blame my parents.schools, teachers ...you know everyone but himself. I had enough and told him no one forced you to pick that junk up, you chose to. No ones fault but yours. We haven't talked since ...going on 9 years. I don't feel bad for colt just hope he gets help before he ends up dead. Now this is one thing that can't be blamed on MH.
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Re: Lyerla in trouble again

Post by lmduck »

Handsome Dan wrote:
lmduck wrote:
Handsome Dan wrote:He needs treatment, not judgement. He's been failed by many people along the way, starting with his parents. It's a shame Helfrich didn't understand how to handle him properly, because his time at Oregon was the best opportunity for a successful intervention.
Alan wrote:Who to blame? His mom? No doubt the blame lays on him...sad and yes, he's probably not done making headline, just sad.
This is very, very incorrect.
Dan- many, many people at Oregon tried to help Colt. Many went way above and beyond using personal resources. Many people including MH sought help and guidance from professionals for Colt. Colt was given way more opportunities than others. To say he has been failed by many people is a very inaccurate statement. Yes, there certainly are some family members who have failed him, but I can tell you MANY people at UO attempted to help this guy multiple times. He chose not to take advantage of it.


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Is there more detail on that? How involved were the professionals, which kinds, and so forth? I'll definitely concede that I'm not well aware of how things went at Oregon, but with what you gave me I can't be sure if they actually got him the help he needed.

Also note that I'm not saying they intentionally failed him; that'd be highly questionable given Helfrich's personality and ludicrous after what you wrote here. But trying to help someone and actually helping them aren't the same thing.
Alan wrote:
Handsome Dan wrote:He needs treatment, not judgement. He's been failed by many people along the way, starting with his parents. It's a shame Helfrich didn't understand how to handle him properly, because his time at Oregon was the best opportunity for a successful intervention.
Alan wrote:Who to blame? His mom? No doubt the blame lays on him...sad and yes, he's probably not done making headline, just sad.
This is very, very incorrect.
You know as little as anyone of us know about what Colt is dealing with. How many interventions does it take? Colt is the one making the choices he makes, numerous people have reached out, including the legal system..... he was on parol when he go busted. There's a good chance in 10 years we'll read a story about how "once football star got lost in drugs and was found dead". I'm not saying it's too late for help, I'm saying Colt has got to want it for it to work......he clearly doesn't want it.
Maybe he does want it but feels trapped in a hopeless morass he can't escape? I'm not sure it's the best idea to tell me that no one knows what Colt is dealing with and then three sentences later make a statement that implicitly contradicts it (you can't say something is "clearly" without presuming to know with a lot of certainty).

Regarding the legal system, it's not necessarily the best at getting mentally unhealthy people the treatment they need.
OregonFan4Life wrote:
Handsome Dan wrote:He needs treatment, not judgement. He's been failed by many people along the way, starting with his parents. It's a shame Helfrich didn't understand how to handle him properly, because his time at Oregon was the best opportunity for a successful intervention.
Alan wrote:Who to blame? His mom? No doubt the blame lays on him...sad and yes, he's probably not done making headline, just sad.
This is very, very incorrect.
You're actually the one that's very very incorrect. I may not have liked Helf as a coach but he handled this right, and so did Chip. Colt's problem is he refuses to listen to anyone and he avoids addressing the fact that he has problems. I have a lot of insight as to Colt while he was at the UofO, there was a reason he had the nickname "Coke" Lyerla. He also caused a lot of trouble in bars and almost always needed to be escorted by bouncers. I do feel bad for Colt's upbringing, but he has had all the resources to clean himself up and have a very successful career in the NFL, but instead he keeps choosing the easy route and doesn't work to better himself. There's nobody but Colt to blame for that.


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I don't think you understand how much damage a bad upbringing can have on someone, or why someone might choose the "easy" way out when they're mired in a cycle of misery and hopelessness. You seem insistent on blaming Colt without considering the complexity of the situation, which I'd argue is taking the easy way out in regards to providing an opinion on this issue.

I'll just leave some questions here for you to think about:

1. Why did Colt not listen to anyone and refuse to admit he has a problem?

2. Why did he develop a hard drug habit in high school?

3. Why did he have obvious issues containing his anger?

In other words, what do you think could be responsible for all those bad behaviors you identified?

Dan- you are asking questions here that frankly only Lyerla himself could answer. Here's the bottom line, a couple of us here have indicated we have personal and specific knowledge about some of the things that went on with CL. Yes, there are certainly some family issues that have contributed to his issues but once again I will tell you that Oregon went way above and beyond with this guy. So above and beyond that in multiple situations they had to get clearance from the NCAA to provide some of the assistance that they thought would help him. As I said before some involved put up personal resources to help this guy. Each time afterward he was going to 'get right' according to Colt. He said that multiple times. Both Kelly and Helfrich want out of their way to help this guy on a personal level. There were all kinds of support mechanisms put in place. Colt had many opportunities to 'get right' (BTW, his words). He chose not too and instead to chose to blame others. Divulging the answers to some of the questions you asked would be violating privacy rules and guidelines.

I get that you feel this is a multi-pronged issue and you are right. However, after many opportunities to turn his life around, Colt has once again made a bad decision. You can only blame that on others so many times. If you recall his interview in the Oregonian with JC, he specifically said he had to quit blaming others and move on. He even went so far as to try and connect with Helfrich and Osborne and other coaches who tried in vain to help him. They welcomed him with open arms and even though he was no longer part of the program they offered help and support.

At some point the onus is on Colt and it is heartbreaking to hear he is in trouble again. This time it may be pretty hard for him to avoid extended jail time and that cannot be blamed on anyone else.
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Re: Lyerla in trouble again

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Getting your life back after a serious heroin addiction is a long and arduous task and I hope he makes it someday.
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Pontius
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Re: Lyerla in trouble again

Post by Pontius »

I appreciate your posts in this thread Handsome Dan. I think your understanding of reality runs circles around that of others. People who refuse to accept complexity and blame personal failures on the individual have a severe myopic tendency. They really have no concept or understanding of the complexity of cause and effect.
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Re: Lyerla in trouble again

Post by greenyellow »

Pontius wrote:I appreciate your posts in this thread Handsome Dan. I think your understanding of reality runs circles around that of others. People who refuse to accept complexity and blame personal failures on the individual have a severe myopic tendency. They really have no concept or understanding of the complexity of cause and effect.
Except people have acknowledged that some of his issues do stem from past events and people in his life. It's just that they realize those only explain a small part of why he continues down this path of self-destruction. It also seems you glossed over those who have said they have dealt with people suffering from addiction and know what it encompasses in order to take a swipe at several other posters because they have a different viewpoint than Dan and you.
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Re: Lyerla in trouble again

Post by Duck24 »

greenyellow wrote:
Pontius wrote:I appreciate your posts in this thread Handsome Dan. I think your understanding of reality runs circles around that of others. People who refuse to accept complexity and blame personal failures on the individual have a severe myopic tendency. They really have no concept or understanding of the complexity of cause and effect.
Except people have acknowledged that some of his issues do stem from past events and people in his life. It's just that they realize those only explain a small part of why he continues down this path of self-destruction. It also seems you glossed over those who have said they have dealt with people suffering from addiction and know what it encompasses in order to take a swipe at several other posters because they have a different viewpoint than Dan and you.
I don't think anyone denies that addiction is a complex issue. To say otherwise is naive. It is also completely naive to ignore the personal responsibility portion of it as well.
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Re: Lyerla in trouble again

Post by greenyellow »

Duck24 wrote:
greenyellow wrote:
Pontius wrote:I appreciate your posts in this thread Handsome Dan. I think your understanding of reality runs circles around that of others. People who refuse to accept complexity and blame personal failures on the individual have a severe myopic tendency. They really have no concept or understanding of the complexity of cause and effect.
Except people have acknowledged that some of his issues do stem from past events and people in his life. It's just that they realize those only explain a small part of why he continues down this path of self-destruction. It also seems you glossed over those who have said they have dealt with people suffering from addiction and know what it encompasses in order to take a swipe at several other posters because they have a different viewpoint than Dan and you.
I don't think anyone denies that addiction is a complex issue. To say otherwise is naive. It is also completely naive to ignore the personal responsibility portion of it as well.
Agreed. I was just correcting Pontius on his assertion that only Dan (sorry to pick on you a bit) was open-minded on the factors affecting drug addiction.
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Re: Lyerla in trouble again

Post by SuperDuck »

Pontius wrote:I appreciate your posts in this thread Handsome Dan. I think your understanding of reality runs circles around that of others. People who refuse to accept complexity and blame personal failures on the individual have a severe myopic tendency. They really have no concept or understanding of the complexity of cause and effect.
I agree with you and Dan. I suffered from addiction for decades before finally discovering my faith. It's my personal opinion that unless someone has actually "experienced it themselves", you know absolutely nothing about it. Not trying to be a jerk, just stating a fact.

Yes, ultimately it IS up to the individual to make a life change but it's not just quitting that's so terrifying to most addicts. It's learning how to live again once you've stopped. That, and having to face any demons that they may have been trying to suppress.

You see, after long term abuse your brain begins to change into a different person. You're still in there, but your "addict" has become your primary personality. Just as it takes time to become addicted, some do much sooner than others, it also takes between 2-5 years for your brain to return to being "you", or whatever's left of you.

During this period you have to learn how to live all over again, almost like an infant. You have to actually reacquaint yourself with yourself, figure out the things that are really important to you, make amends with anyone you've harmed, learn to like yourself, love yourself and forgive yourself and others.

In addition, you don't mature mentally while you're drinking or using drugs, so trying to fit in socially with your peers is very difficult the first few years. You may seem immature to others in your age group and not feel as though you'll ever fit in.

That's why so many people relapse. They simply don't know how to fit into "normal" life, so they end up going back to what's familiar, where they're accepted by others and what makes them feel good/normal, at least for awhile, until they hit bottom again.

I've met multiple drug and alcohol counselors and nearly all of them tried to quit multiple times before finally getting over the hump. I met one guy at VA that had been to rehab 16 times before he was finally able to step away from meth.

That's about where I was, too.

I've suffered personal loss many times from substance abuse related deaths. My daughter, my nephew, my dad, friends that I grew up with, etc.

I spoke to an old friend recently about people we used to hang out with at the bars and they said that many had passed away, most in their 40s and 50s. Some are still using. It's really sad.

What an alcoholic/addict needs is unconditional love - not anger, not rejection or judgment, not abandonment, etc. They need to know that they have a person or persons that care about them no matter what. These people don't condone what they do, nor do they want a call at midnight from someone who's drunk or high. These are simply people that have told the individual that when you're ready to get help, I'm here - no matter what.

Bottom line: Alcoholism and addiction are diseases, just like any other disease. It affects apx 1 in 8 people from all walks of life. Doctors, Lawyers, blue collar workers, etc, etc.

The biggest difference between the substance abuser and someone with most other serious medical conditions is that the substance abuser has to make a major life decision while they're in a state of mental impairment! Their "addict" is dominant during the process most of the time. It's almost like a battle for your soul and it's SO VERY HARD.

Can it be overcome? Yes, but each individual is different and, sadly, many will never make it back. Of those who do, it's a lifelong battle.

I'll get off my soapbox now. I'll just say again, unless YOU are a recovering substance abuser, please don't make snap judgments about anyone. You know the old saying about "walking a mile in another man's shoes?" That definitely applies here.
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Re: Lyerla in trouble again

Post by Handsome Dan »

greenyellow wrote:
Pontius wrote:I appreciate your posts in this thread Handsome Dan. I think your understanding of reality runs circles around that of others. People who refuse to accept complexity and blame personal failures on the individual have a severe myopic tendency. They really have no concept or understanding of the complexity of cause and effect.
Except people have acknowledged that some of his issues do stem from past events and people in his life. It's just that they realize those only explain a small part of why he continues down this path of self-destruction. It also seems you glossed over those who have said they have dealt with people suffering from addiction and know what it encompasses in order to take a swipe at several other posters because they have a different viewpoint than Dan and you.
They explain a lot more than "a small part" though. He continues down the path of self-destruction because he's trapped in something (heroin addiction) he can't escape by himself, and he's trapped in it because he's trying to deal with an incredibly nasty accumulation of negative emotions that started when he was young, kept building on each other (just try to imagine dealing with the knowledge that your NFL dream, which you were banking on to escape your childhood, was dead because of your childhood), and were never properly treated. He needs exactly what SuperDuck says he needs - a happy, positive, and safe environment where he can go through that process of reconstruction successfully. It does no good for anyone to sit here and try to heap an unfair amount of judgement and blame on him for his predicament.
SuperDuck wrote:It's my personal opinion that unless someone has actually "experienced it themselves", you know absolutely nothing about it. Not trying to be a jerk, just stating a fact.
You go quickly from saying it's opinion to saying it's fact lol. I'm assuming you were trying to soften it by saying first that it was your opinion, but since you're right, you shouldn't need to. Maybe inject a bit of nuance into the part about knowing absolutely nothing (there is the possibility to imagine, which is something even though it is obviously "inferior" to experiential knowledge) if you'd prefer to take the edge off instead.

Also congrats on defeating your addiction, to whatever extent that's possible.
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Re: Lyerla in trouble again

Post by OregonFan4Life »

Thanks for that post SuperDuck! That definitely puts into a great perspective, perhaps I was a little too rough with my judgment of Lyerla, I will say though that the UofO did give him all the resources he needed to recover, they were kind to him and did not try to make him feel any worse for his issues, and it was him that said no. So I do feel there is an aspect of him not realizing the magnitude of his problems, but who am I to judge? I will admit to getting defensive when I hear people attack the University or say they didn't help him, cause that isn't true. I certainly hope Lyerla finds himself and fully recovers.


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Re: Lyerla in trouble again

Post by SuperDuck »

OregonFan4Life wrote:Thanks for that post SuperDuck! That definitely puts into a great perspective, perhaps I was a little too rough with my judgment of Lyerla, I will say though that the UofO did give him all the resources he needed to recover, they were kind to him and did not try to make him feel any worse for his issues, and it was him that said no. So I do feel there is an aspect of him not realizing the magnitude of his problems, but who am I to judge? I will admit to getting defensive when I hear people attack the University or say they didn't help him, cause that isn't true. I certainly hope Lyerla finds himself and fully recovers.


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Thanks for trying to be understanding, OF4L. I understand that the UO probably went above and beyond. I have no problem with them whatsoever. As I mentioned in my post, different people are different. Also, timing for some isn't good, as odd as that may seem.

I sincerely hope that Lyerla finds himself and finds some semblance of peace. Honestly, the triggers never completely go away, you just have good days and bad.

Rock star, Alice Cooper, who's definitely "been there, done that", has been clean and sober for decades now after a few near brushes with death. I saw him in an interview once where he said that he gets calls from many other stars in the music industry and Hollywood, asking him how he did it.

His reply was simply, "you have to really want it."

The reason he said that is because it's NOT easy. He wasn't going to sugarcoat any aspect of it. It's something that may take several attempts and, not trying to give myself "kudos" or anything like that, but many find it easier to just continue using and they stop trying. Deep down they always really want to stop but they never quite make it. Sadly, many commit suicide or die young. :cry:

It required a complete life change for me. I still have "triggers" sometimes if I'm out eating and see a big frosty beer or margarita at someone's table. But I know that I can't do that anymore, not even one taste. Actually, that's how Alice Cooper relapsed the second time. He took a sip from his wife's wine and the entire vicious cycle began again.

Anyhow...

I sincerely hope that Colt Lyerla makes it, too. Forget football. This is a young man's life we're dealing with. If you're reading this, Colt (or anyone else who's struggling), feel free to PM me anytime.
John 3:36
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